[Warning: read with caution, coming from an angry place]
Late last night I made the mistake of browsing through the pinche Sunshine Portal, even the name is a mockery. I didn’t feel so ‘sunshiney’ after finding out what some of the gente make at the institution. After seeing the figures I was so riled up that I couldn’t even sleep… 1 am… (very mad) … 2 am (mad) … 3 am (still mad)…
I’m at a loss and don’t want to hate but damn I’m still infuriated and slightly down. It makes me realize that the ugly sensation inside is possibly a reflection that I’ve bought into the system as well. I shouldn’t feel this bad but maybe I do because a part of me wants a slice of the institutional pie. [Hell no!]
Now I’m beginning to understand how the institutional beast works. I’m starting to see a pattern after looking at so many slap-in-the-face salaries. It’s what I had touched on before, the equation. The more vendido, the greater the pay. The more complicit, the greater the rewards. The more connected to the VIP club, the greater the benefits.
So now it’s making sense…. so that’s why there’s usually silence about troubling the waters at the institutional paradise, right? That’s why people, except for a few out there professors, will truly put themselves on the line. Material comfort is our greatest enemy, it’s the most effective placater. Once you’re in the system, very few will cause trouble for those who guarantee their pay and who allowed them in the club to begin with, right? Now I see why they tell us – to calm down, to sit still, to not disrupt, to be grateful, etc.
How do we justify all of this? How do they justify this? Is the justification made on their supposed skills? On their pedigrees? On their charisma and know-how? “I deserve this because I worked hard enough.” “We’re here representing all of you, you should be grateful to see our brown faces among the rotten milk.”
Oh really? Well the rest of us know that meritocratic shit don’t fly. Some of us are figuring out how the tokenistic, nepotistic, and cronyistic system works.
My mom made about $14K last year working her tail off. I think I made about $20K. How much did you make again? Starting at $70K? The other one at $82K? Don’t even ask about los otros.
The system is seriously off-kilter people.
[BTW… check it out for yourself: sunshine.unm.edu]
#angyblogadora #lablogadora #elsistema